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Title: The Monster At the End of This Glee Club
Author: poor_choices
Fandom: Glee, with a lot of mentions of Supernatural
Pairing: Finn/Kurt, mention of Finn/Rachel and Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester
Rating: PG
Word count: 2000 words.
Spoilers: Just general character spoilers for season two of Glee, and then for all of Supernatural, including the most recent episode of season six.
Warnings: Internalized homophobia from Finn, writing of Wincest, obviously.
Summary: Finn finds Wincest of Kurt's computer. He does not do well with it.
Notes: Written for finnkurt's winter fest, for morgan_d's prompt of: "Kurt writes SPN Wincest fanfiction. Finn finds out, and his first reaction is "Eww, gross! They're, like, brothers! And Dean is so not gay. Sam, maybe, but not Dean!" Then Finn actually reads it. And he changes his mind. About a lot of things." Which, let's not lie, I saw and realized was totally my destiny. I still am not, like, a Glee fan WHAT IS MY LIFE.
Disclaimer: WHAT IS MY LIFE I mean not mine, please don't sue!


So Finn totally didn't mean to do it, but Kurt's printer hates him. He doesn't know why. It's like Kurt's printer and Finn's laptop know that they're from different families and they aren't totally ready to assimilate yet. Or something.

The point is that if Finn wants to print things, like his English paper, he has to borrow Kurt's laptop, and if Kurt isn't around, Finn doesn't ask, because he can't. But he sent Kurt a text that said, printing k and Kurt said, Please punctuate your text messages, Finn. So it's not like Kurt wasn't aware.

Anyway, it's not like he had a password on there or anything, so it's kind of his fault. The laptop was just right there and Finn had an English paper to print.

He didn't mean to snoop.

But he had to! He needed to use Word to open his file, and he went into the window that was already open, and he saw The Thing.

The Thing was, well, it was a thing. It wasn't a school thing (well, Finn hoped it wasn't a school thing). It was, well, it was about those guys. Finn liked those guys! Those guys on that show that Kurt watched on his computer Saturday mornings. Kurt didn't let him talk during the show, but he'd sometimes pause and to explain what was going on with the plot, and it was, like, these two dudes who were brothers and drove around the country in this totally sweet car saving people from evil. And Kurt would sometimes rant about how the tall one wasn't always kind of crazy and mean, and the shorter one wasn't exactly a saint, and he'd totally freaked Finn out for a few days when Kurt said he was a Sam girl, for a lot of reasons, like that Sam is dating Quinn now and Kurt isn't actually girl, but Kurt told him what that meant, eventually.

Anyway.

So Kurt had this story, about those two guys, Sam and Dean, who were brothers, and who were, in Kurt's story, having sex.

Finn clicked away from the window as fast as he could, and he opened up an entirely new window to open his paper and printed it and closed Kurt's laptop as fast as he could.

And that should have been it.

Except that it haunted Finn. Like, he knew that Kurt didn't have any real brothers, but Finn didn't either, and Finn still knew you weren't supposed to have gay sex with your brother.

Or straight sex, but he couldn't have straight sex with his brother, because he was a dude. You weren't supposed to have gay sex with your brother or straight sex with your sister. You just didn't do that.

And, then there was the way that he and Kurt were kind of brothers, and Kurt kind of sometimes, well. Kurt didn't always understand boundaries.

Also, the shorter dude had a totally hot wife or something and a kid, so there was no way he was gay. The tall guy maybe, because he had pretty gay hair and, like, did shirtless pullups while turning down hookers (and, seriously, what the hell was up with Kurt's taste in TV? Why couldn't he just like America's Next Top Model like all the other gay guys?), but not the other guy. There was no way. So it wasn't even realistic gay incest porn.

Finn really tried to forget about the whole thing. Like, maybe there was some other explanation for this that was rational and did not involve Kurt thinking it was okay to have sex with his brother (which he obviously did, because he was kind of into Finn). Maybe it was on a dare. Or for an assignment. Or someone dared him to turn it in as an assignment.

Yeah. That was it.

*

"So, what would make someone think they should have sex with their brother?" Finn asked.

"What?" asked Rachel.

"I mean, I'm just asking. You know, uh, hippocratically."

"Why are you talking about having sex with your brother while we're kissing?"

"No, I didn't mean me having sex with my brother, I meant people having sex with their brothers generally--well I guess my brother is kind of related to the whole--"

"You know what, Finn? Why don't you call me when you're not feeling incestuous."

"But I'm not feeling incestuous! I'm just asking in general."

But Rachel was already gone.

Strike one.

*

"Do you know any dudes named Dean?"

Sam glanced over at him. "No. Why?"

"You don't have a brother named Dean? Or something?"

"No," said Sam. "Why?"

"Okay, but, if you did, would you want to sleep with him?"

"Uh," said Sam. "No. Seriously, why?"

"No reason," said Finn.

Strike two.

*

Finally, on Saturday, when Kurt was booting up his laptop to watch the latest episode of the show that was now just that show about the two brothers Kurt thinks are gay and would be forever more, Finn gave up and decided he really would have to ask Kurt.

Which wasn't exactly what he did, but it was close.

"They're brothers."

Kurt looked pleased. "Yes, they are! I'm so glad you're paying attention. Do you remember their names?"

"Sam and Dean," said Finn. "Uh, Sam is the tall one."

"Yes, he is! Now, you remember last week, Sam allowed Dean to get bitten by a vampire, and now Dean is even more suspicious, so--"

"Why do you think they're gay?"

Kurt pauses and stares. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I didn't mean to, but you should close your porn, or whatever, because I was just printing my paper and then there was all this gay incest sex and--gay incest sex!"

Kurt's jaw ticked. "It is not gay incest sex. It is erotica, and why is gay incest sex worse than straight incest sex, Finn?"

"Because I can't have straight incest sex!" said Finn. "I don't have a sister!"

Kurt stared for a long minute. "Well, I guess I can't object to you reading something that I already put on the internet for everyone to see. What did you think?"

There was too much new information to process. "What?"

"What did you think of my characterization? I know you're new to the fandom, but I was working with season six, you're canon-familiar for that, and I'm worried about how I'm writing Sam now anyway, and I don't know if I really transitioned from brothers into lovers realistically. I've gotten nothing but praise on my journal and few flames on the anonmeme, but they think I'm a girl, so what do they know? Anyway, I'd be very interested in your opinions."

"I didn't read it," Finn said finally. "What's an anonmeme?"

"A terrible place," said Kurt. "What do you mean you didn't read it? You said you read it."

"I saw it," Finn hedged. "I stopped reading once I figured out what it was."

"Well, there's your problem," said Kurt. "Of course you don't understand the Wincest if you didn't even read the whole fic. Besides, you're coming in during season six, and while I appreciate the focus everyone is putting on Sam's importance to Dean, you didn't get any of the self-sacrifice in seasons two and three, or even the really blatant soulmate-erotic-co-dependence stuff in season five. Honestly, Finn, I don't see why you're getting so up-in-arms when you haven't even given it a try."

And, before Finn could object, Kurt had opened up some website and shoved his laptop onto Finn's lap.

"I have anonymous commenting disabled, but you can just tell me what you think in person," said Kurt. "I don't think it's my best work, but if you like it, I can come up with some sort of fandom primer for you."

And Kurt was sitting right there, looking expectant, so it wasn't like Finn could just not read it.

"That Dean guy totally isn't gay," Finn pointed out. "He's got a wife and a kid."

"They aren't married," said Kurt patiently. "I told you, he just moved in with her because his brother died and told him to have a normal life, and Dean drank and missed Sam the whole time, and then left them when Sam came back. Read the story, I address all those points."

"Wait, he did that?" asked Finn. "That is kind of gay."

*

The story isn't that long, and the sex isn't graphic. It's more R instead of X. Finn finishes it, and then goes back to the beginning to read it again, just to make sure there wasn't something really scarring in there he missed.

Because he kind of liked it.

It wasn't really about like, you are my brother and I am overcome with lust and want to have sex with you because I am really into incest! and was more about having someone who knew you really well, and loved you unconditionally, and who always had your back, even if you were kind of crazy.

It was like what he thought having a sibling would be like, except with more incest and demon-hunting.

But that part was kind of okay too.

"Huh," said Finn.

"I think I'm going to get Jossed by this episode, or maybe the next, but I don't care." Kurt looked way too excited. "What did you think?"

"It was kind of cool," said Finn.

"We should totally watch The Monster At the End of This Book. Watching Jared and Jensen react to Wincest is priceless, but that isn't surprising, especially with RPS. I wish we'd gotten Misha's reaction too. Well, there wouldn't be much of one from Cas, but he'd make it work. Are you on Twitter? You should follow him. And we should get you on LJ."

"I only understood like half those words," said Finn. "But, uh, rock on."

Kurt beamed.

*

So that should have been the end of it, except Finn kept thinking about it. Maybe because Kurt kept watching Supernatural, and now Finn was really aware of the potential sexual tension between the two dudes or whatever, or maybe it was just because he knew that Kurt wasn't just into him, he was into brother-sex in general.

He didn't put it together for a week, until they were watching the newest Supernatural, and it turned out that Sam had no soul. Finn wasn't sure how that led him to his realization, but whatever.

"Wait, did you get our parents together because you're into Wincest?" he asked.

Kurt paused the episode. "What?"

"I don't want to go on a roadtrip and hunt demons with you." He reconsidered. "Actually that would be cool, but I'd miss a lot of football. And glee. And Rachel, but she broke up with me over the whole incest thing."

There was a long pause. "What is going on, Finn?" Kurt finally asked.

"I can't stop thinking about incest!"

"I see," said Kurt icily. "I'm sorry I corrupted you with my fan fiction. Just because I write it doesn't mean I want it in real life, Finn. I find their fictional relationship fascinating, that doesn't mean I want it."

"I think I want it," said Finn, slowly. "Man, the way you wrote about it? It was so cool."

Kurt paused, and when he finally spoke, his voice was all funny and hopeful. "Are you saying you want to hunt monsters with me, Finn?"

"Not while there's football. Let's just try the incest thing."

Kurt stared, and then, finally, said, "I wish you weren't taller, because you are so Dean, and it's going to make our cosplay really inaccurate."

"Our what?"

"I'll explain when we watch The Real Ghostbusters."

*

Next Tuesday, in glee, they sang "Renegade," which wasn't exactly like coming out, but it was totally badass and Puck called them gay, and afterward they made out in the bathroom.

So it was a good start, anyway.

Comments

( 85 comments — Leave a comment )
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wanttobeatree
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:05 am (UTC)
omg omg omg chash WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

*demented seal clapping*
longsufferingly
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
THIS WAS THE FIC I WAS BORN TO WRITE AND YOU KNOW IT.
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earthquakedream
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:05 am (UTC)
I THINK I LOVE YOU

but what am i so afraid of

Kurt totally ships Sam/Dean. And...now I really want them to sing Renegade. That'd be fucking amazing.

As usual, you get an A+++++++++++ for being awesome!
snowrose
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:05 am (UTC)
OMG this is beyond awesome!
bekkis
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:07 am (UTC)
*draws sparkly hearts all over this fic*

This is my faaaavorite<3 BOYS. Your Finn is so perfect. And so is your Kurt. THIS IS EPIC WIN!
charis_kalos
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
THIS IS ADORABLE. (And makes me feel better about last night's Glee episode [in Australia] when no one seemed to care that Kurt was being bullied.)
elizardbits
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:12 am (UTC)
DFGHD;GA;DGADFK;BHKGHAD;FGHADF;LGHDF

WHAT WHAT IS THIS OH MY GOD WHAT

i cant even

i think i went potty from the hysteria and flailing
kitsune13
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:16 am (UTC)
HI YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW AFTER CHRIS COLFER.

Seriously, this was hilarious and adorable and you NAILED Finn's dumbass, ignorant, but sweet-once-he-wises-up interior monologue. LOVE. And of course Kurt would be a Samgirl!
sophie_448
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:16 am (UTC)
HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME? *DIES*

Just fyi, I am sitting in the library trying not to crack up. It's awesome.
callowyn
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:28 am (UTC)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god. For someone who doesn't watch Glee, you got their voices perfectly, especially:

"We should totally watch The Monster At the End of This Book. Watching Jared and Jensen react to Wincest is priceless, but that isn't surprising, especially with RPS. I wish we'd gotten Misha's reaction too. Well, there wouldn't be much of one from Cas, but he'd make it work. Are you on Twitter? You should follow him. And we should get you on LJ."

"I only understood like half those words," said Finn. "But, uh, rock on."


♥_♥

Next week on Glee: Kurt and Finn get into ship wars with Destiel fans on Finn's shiny new LJ! The twist: IT'S BRITTANY AND SANTANA.
quiddative
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:35 am (UTC)
omg it would be glorious and McKinley High would explode from being unable to contain their shipping war.
(no subject) - callowyn - Nov. 11th, 2010 01:42 am (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
defineskyline
Nov. 11th, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD I WANT THIS I WANT THIS I WANT THIS
THE ONE WHO WRITES THIS GETS MY VIRTUAL FIRST-BORN.
nature_aly
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:32 am (UTC)
THIS IS AWESOME! It feels so in character and well developed.

Kurt stared, and then, finally, said, "I wish you weren't taller, because you are so Dean, and it's going to make our cosplay really inaccurate."

Love it!
quiddative
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:34 am (UTC)
ASLKDFJKLASJDF I LOVE YOU. AND THIS. AHHHHH. IT TOTALLY MADE UP FOR YESTERDAY'S EPISODE.
sothcweden
Nov. 11th, 2010 01:40 am (UTC)
How do you keep writing the funniest things? Really. I read the summary, think it sounds crazy, and you make it make sense!
viridescence
Nov. 11th, 2010 02:03 am (UTC)
Trying not to LOL or ROFL at work is hard, I hope you know. I have to cover up wheezing giggles with coughing. I have been sick, though, so I do have an excuse.

But this! This? Was awesome. You totally nailed both Kurt and Finn's voices, and I love that Kurt is a Sam girl. I can totally see them marathon through the seasons, and Finn would totally fall in love with the show and wincest by mid-season 1. I want to see Finn take up reading fanfic, and I totally second the suggestion that he and Kurt get into ship wars with Brittany and Santana, lol.

Your brain is worthy of adoration.
ladyvyola
Nov. 11th, 2010 02:29 am (UTC)
So the suppressed snickers started with

So it wasn't even realistic gay incest porn

and escalated to smothered gasps for breath with

"They aren't married," said Kurt patiently. "I told you, he just moved in with her because his brother died and told him to have a normal life, and Dean drank and missed Sam the whole time, and then left them when Sam came back. Read the story, I address all those points."

"Wait, he did that?" asked Finn. "That is kind of gay."


and turned into uncontrollable guffaws with

"We should totally watch The Monster At the End of This Book. Watching Jared and Jensen react to Wincest is priceless, but that isn't surprising, especially with RPS. I wish we'd gotten Misha's reaction too. Well, there wouldn't be much of one from Cas, but he'd make it work. Are you on Twitter? You should follow him. And we should get you on LJ."

"I only understood like half those words," said Finn. "But, uh, rock on."


This was just utterly delightful and totally in character, including just what kind of fan Kurt would be. I'm with not_sally's idea of the companion fic, too, with Dean as a Kurt boy. Sam probably gets all annoyed every week with how inappropriate Will is. Bobby disturbs everyone with his enormous crush on Sue.
(Deleted comment)
twelve_pastels
Nov. 11th, 2010 02:47 am (UTC)
I snorted a whiskey sour on my computer screen. That is the best testament that I can give to any fic.
sohmamon
Nov. 11th, 2010 03:00 am (UTC)
Oh my gosh, you are the best ever. ♥
destina
Nov. 11th, 2010 03:02 am (UTC)
I literally can't stop the random giggles that have overtaken me. This is awesome. *g*
everindelible
Nov. 11th, 2010 03:21 am (UTC)
wtf did I just read.



(I'm actually laughing so hard I'm crying, DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME?)
heterodog
Nov. 11th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU I COULD CRY
que_divertido
Nov. 11th, 2010 03:36 am (UTC)
how do you make something work
when it really, really should not? I DO NOT SHIP FINN/KURT. stop making it adorable, damnit. *ahem* stop with the jedi mind tricks. I am wise your wily ways.
timian
Nov. 11th, 2010 04:02 am (UTC)
Okay. I can admit it. You pwn the universe, chash. If you and God were to go head to head in a crack writing contest, you'd totally own Its ass.
laranlas_keryn
Nov. 11th, 2010 04:06 am (UTC)
I haven't quite gotten into Glee just yet (I've been meaning to, time keeps eluding me) but this was great. I loved Finn especially, what with him going around and asking people how they felt about incest and how he was trying to wrap his head around the whole idea. Just hilarious. You may have just given me a tiny push in the direction of finding Glee online. And bookmarking it so I can watch when there is time :)
rachelismo
Nov. 11th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
How can you be real? You are this image, now, only, you keep showing yourself up by being more awesome all the time, stop it, you're breaking my brain!

... ok, no, don't stop, my brain can take it.
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( 85 comments — Leave a comment )