Title: Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Relationship
Author: Chash
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Real person fiction.
Word Count: ~1,500 words
Summary: Jensen moved in with Jared against his better judgment.
Disclaimer: Lies and untruths.


i.

It turns out that moving in with the guy you're in love with is stupid. Like, epically stupid. Michael Rosenbaum stupid. Chad Michael Murray stupid.

Of course, it's not like Jensen has ever made good decisions when Jared's involved.


ii.

Rosenbaum figured it out easily, called as soon as he heard Jared and Sandy broke up.

"You could just tell him," said Rosenbaum. No hello, no introduction, of course.

"That worked so well for you," said Jensen.

"I never said anything," said Rosenbaum.

"I thought you did. You fled the country, man."

"Without telling him. That's what I'm telling you not to do."

"I'm moving in with him," Jensen said, after a long pause.

"You never were that smart."

"You're one to talk."

Rosenbaum didn't say anything. That was a pretty bad sign.


iii.

It would be nice if they didn't get along well. If their living patterns completely contradicted each other, if they drove each other nuts. If Jensen hated Jared's dogs, if Jared hated Jensen's cooking, if the differences they did have pissed him off.

It would be wonderful if it sucked. It would be amazing. But it doesn't.

They get home from work together and throw food together, moving around the kitchen together as if they'd actually planned it, as if they'd been doing it forever.

"Want chicken?" Jared will ask, and Jensen will say yes because he does, not even just to make Jared happy.

Afterward they'll drink beer and hang out, not even talking.

It's almost like they skipped a lifetime those nights, like they're some old married couple, reading scripts together in silence, just coexisting.


iv.

They go out with Tom more.

"It's like," says Tom morosely, more to his beer than to Jensen, "it's like if Jared decided he wanted to leave."

"Because the show sucked," Jared points out. They all pretty much agree that continuing to film Smallville is beating a dead horse. And the horse is dead because they shot it. No one likes Smallville. Tom doesn't even like Smallville.

"Still!" says Tom. "Think about if Jared left and you had to do Supernatural alone."

"I'm right here," says Aaron Ashmore. Aaron Ashmore is kind of trying to be Mike, but he's not crazy, so it's not working.

"Supernatural is just us," Jared adds. "If I left, there wouldn't be a show."

"Dude," says Jensen mildly. "I could carry a show."

"Dude," Jared replies in the same tone. "Dean would be fucking insane if Sam left."

"That's what I'm saying!" says Tom. "I'm fucking insane."

"We were talking about the show," Jensen notes.

"Aww, you'd be totally insane if I left, Jensen," says Jared, slinging his arm around Jensen's shoulders.

"Insanely happy. I'd have my own house."

"You'd miss having a man around to change lightbulbs and kill bears."

Jensen snorts. "Since when do you kill bears?"

"I kill them before they get to you," says Jared wisely. "That's why you don't know about them. But if I left? You'd be overrun."

"I'd be thrilled."

"You'd pine."

"I pine!" says Tom, slamming his drink on the table. Aaron Ashmore pats him on the shoulder.

Jensen drinks his beer, doesn't think about anything as hard as he can.


v.

Jensen had been able to deal with wanting to have sex with Jared. Pretty much everyone wants to have sex with Jared. Half the crew came to watch that scene in Heart where he was all naked and sweaty, and most of them didn't even bother to come up with good excuses. It's just. It's Jared.

When Jensen started thinking about moving in together and taking the dogs out for runs and bickering with Jared between long, lazy kisses in the mornings, yeah--that was a warning sign.


vi.

Chris visits in August.

"Nice place you got here," he says.

"Figured I'd better start treating him right," says Jared, draping his arm over Jensen's shoulder.

"News to me," says Jensen.

"All right, I keep him in the basement and feed him bread and water," Jared admits.

"Good thing I got here when I did, Jen," says Chris dryly. "Wouldn't want you wasting away to nothing."

"My hero," says Jensen, and Jared laughs, doesn't move his arm.

Later, Chris says, "This was grade-A, free-range stupid."

"I know," says Jensen.


vii.

Jared made a lot of arguments for why they should move in together. Good reasons, like Jensen didn't need to pay for a hotel, and they were together all the time anyway, and Jared would be the awesomest roommate ever.

Jensen didn't listen to any of them until Jared and Sandy broke up. He told himself he wanted to make Jared feel better, take care of him, and he wanted it to be true.

Jensen wishes he was that good a guy.


viii.

"Heard you were living with Padalecki," says Danneel on the phone. She likes calling Jared "Padalecki;" she says it makes her feel like they're friends, even though no one really ever calls Jared that but her. But Jared calls her Harris with a grin, so it seems to work.

"Who told you?"

"It's all over the internet."

Jensen groans. "I told you to stop reading about me on the internet."

"You just don't want me enjoying all that porn about you and Padaleki."

"I really don't," Jensen admits readily.

"You should just get gay married already. Sulu did it."

"Sulu is my role model."

"Damn straight he is," agrees Danneel. "Have you met Takei? He's amazing."

"No, I haven't. Because I'm always in Canada."

"That's your excuse for everything. I gotta go, Chad got stuck in something and everyone's laughing at him. I don't want to miss out. Tell Padalecki he's an idiot for not jumping your bones."

Jensen snorts. "Yeah, I'll pass that on."


ix.

Falling in love always seemed like a misnomer to Jensen. At least, for him it is. Falling is fast and sudden.

With Jared, it was more like sinking, like the fucking Titanic or something. It took forever and he fought it even before he knew it was happening, but at some point it was clear what was going on: band playing, water rising, no survivors.

That's what it was like with Jared.


x.

"You never told me about you and Sandy," says Jensen in October.

It's not how he planned to bring it up. Of course, he'd always planned on Jared bringing it up, and maybe that's why he sounds accusatory, and a little sad.

If Jared tenses, Jensen can't detect it. "We realized we wanted different things."

"But you guys always..."

"I know," says Jared, turning to look at Jensen. His smile breaks Jensen's heart, a little. But not for the usual reasons Jared is breaking his heart. "But she wanted to get her degree, get on with her life. And that's great for her. But."

"But you don't want that?" asks Jensen. He didn't mean for it to be a question, but it ends up like that.

"Nah," says Jared, settling down next to him on the couch. "I wanted this." He knocks Jensen's knee, grins like the fucking sun, and Jensen can't manage to say "me too," even though he should.


xi.

It must be good, living with someone who loves you back.

But Jensen can't imagine anything better than just this, the two of them, beers and dogs and steaks and a house all to themselves.

That should have been a clue, but he didn't let himself think it could be.


xii.

Jared kisses him the Tuesday before Halloween. It's after work, they're both a little tired, but not tired enough that they can write it off.

Jared keeps his eyes open, and so does Jensen, and they look at each other as they don't pull away.

Jensen wants to give in, wants to kiss back, wants to touch Jared, but he's pretty sure once he starts, he won't stop.

Jared smiles against his lips, fucking grins and Jensen pulls back.

"You're suck a fucking girl," cackles Jared.

"What?" asks Jensen, indignant and confused and turned on and wanting to punch Jared a little.

"Use your fucking tongue, asswipe," is what Jared says.

It's not romantic, but Jensen isn't a girl, really--he doesn't need romance. He mostly needs to know Jared won't deck him.

Seems like he won't, so Jensen explodes at Jared, shoves him against a wall, kisses him with all he's got, leaves them both panting.

"Took you long enough," Jared manages.

"Fuck you," says Jensen. "I like to build to this shit."

"Such a girl."

"I was seducing you."

"With what?"

"My awesome," says Jensen. "I was seducing you with my awesome. And," he smirks, slowly looking Jared up and down, purely for effect, "it totally worked."

Jared snorts. "Shut up."

Jensen has heard worse plans.


xiii.

It's not even that different, Jensen realizes, once they're together. They do all the same things, but they go back to the same bed at night, instead of just the same house. They go to work together, make fun of each other in the car, get drunk with Tom, pull pranks on Kim.

But they go back to the same bed at night, and wake up in the same bed in the morning, and it's like everything has suddenly fit together: all the things Jensen didn't know he could have, all the things he didn't let himself ask for, right in front of him.