it made us kind of happy and kept me off of drugs (longsufferingly) wrote,
it made us kind of happy and kept me off of drugs

Picture the Two of Us Alone Inside My Golden Submarine [2/2]

Jensen comes to blindfolded and tied up.

He wishes it was the first time this had happened.

He takes in what he can of his surroundings--hard floor, a wall against his back. The wall is rough, maybe stone. The ground is even, feels like metal.

"Jared?" he tries.

"You're awake!" comes Jared's voice from somewhere to his left, and the relief is instant. "Thank god. I thought--man, I'm glad you're okay."

"Were those ninjas?"

"Nah, just regular henchmen."

"We got jumped in a Stop and Shop? Jesus."

"I think he wanted to make a scene."



Jensen sifts through his mental index of people who have tried to kill him or his immediate family and gets it pretty fast. Dr. Fredric Lehne, mad scientist with delusions of supervillainy. Awesome.

"Seriously? I thought he got blown up in his own secret volcano base."

"Apparently not. I saw his emblem on the guys' arms. So unless he's got a revenge-crazed-son . . ."

"Great," Jensen shifts his arms, trying the knots. "At least he still uses rope."

"Like all great villains," agrees Jared. "What a whackjob. Can you get out?"

"Please," Jensen scoffs. "Have you ever seen a knot I can't break out of?"

It's Jensen's thing, really. He's not as good in a fight as Jared and Danny, but he's got this. His hands are free in a minute flat--seriously, Lehne's guys used the same knots last time they got kidnapped, way to suck--and he pulls off his blindfold.

Jared's not too far and looks unharmed. One wall is rock, but the other three are metal, and the floor is too. Looks like another lair, fantastic.

He unties his feet and climbs over to Jared. "Hey, man, getting you out," he says quietly.

"Took you long enough," grins Jared.

"Maybe I'll turn the blindfold into a gag," he says, getting Jared's hands free. Jared rips it off himself, and Jensen can see him checking him over for injuries. He's surprised when Jared's hand comes up to brush his forehead, and comes back down with blood on it.

"You okay?" Jared asks softly.

"Yeah," he says, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. "Didn't even notice."

"Dumbass," says Jared, and ties his blindfold tightly over Jensen's cut. "Blood's gonna get in your eyes and then what good are you gonna do me?"

"Any idea how long we were out?"

Jared grins. "I wasn't out."


"There were too many of 'em," says Jared. "And you were out cold. So I figured I'd just--play possum."

"Jared!" he hisses, trying to keep quiet and yell at the same time. "You could've gotten away!"

"Not without you," says Jared.

"You could've, you know, gotten help."

"Might've lost you," Jared murmurs. "Anyway, best estimate I'd say we were in the truck for about two hours."

"I was out that long?"

"And another hour at least while we were here." Jared looks down. "I was really worried, man. Thought you might not wake up."

Jensen cuffs him on the side of the head. "Dumbass. Any clue on where we are?"

Jared shrugs. "I was already blindfolded when we got in, but it was definitely a truck, so we're about two hours' drive from home."

Jensen nods. "Lehne likes--real supervillain stuff, right?"

"The more comic book the better," Jared agrees.

"Any volcanoes?"

Jared leans his head against the wall, closes his eyes. A few seconds later, he snaps his fingers. "You read about that abandoned government mine?"

"The one some guy was selling on eBay?" asks Jensen. "Seriously?"

"Lehne," says Jared.

Jensen groans. "Why does everyone who hates your dad have to be crazy?"

Jared looks affronted. "You'd have to be crazy to hate my dad. He's awesome."

"Okay, fine." Jensen sighs. "So we maybe know who's got us, and where. What do we do?"

Jared stands up and stretches a little. He walks to the door, just running his hands over it quietly, not giving away that they're free. "Door's firm," he says, sitting back down next to Jensen.


"Hope springs eternal," says Jared cheerily.

Jensen glances around, spying an air vent in the corner. "Hey, vent," he says, pointing.

"It's like villain rules," Jared says. "Must have convenient air vent."

"Hey, we know Lehne's by the book," Jensen points out.

Jared sighs. "This one's all you, man. No way in hell I'm getting in there at this point."

"Cuz I'm that much smaller than you," Jensen grumbles, but Jared's got a point. Jensen at least has a chance at getting out. "Boost?"

Jared pretty much lifts him up to the vent, looks torn between relief and worry. "Be careful," is what he says.

"No heroics," says Jensen firmly.

Jared's smile is all teeth. "Who, me?"


As a rule, Jensen is not a fan of vents. He's crawled through more than his fair share; he's pretty sure most people go their entire lives without knowing what the inside of an air vent actually looks like. Sometimes he envies them.

In movies, vents always come out useful places. This one comes out in a boiler room, which at least doesn't have any guards or people. Jensen really, really wishes Jared was with him. Not just because then he'd know Jared was all right.

He jumps down to the floor, landing as quietly as he can. He and Jared didn't really discuss what he's doing; before, the default was always to find Jeff and Dr. Padalecki, but there's no one here to find.

So what he should do is escape and get help somewhere else.

But he'd have to leave Jared.

He glances out the the door; long corridors, sterile and indistinct, neither going the direction he came from.

"Shit," he mutters, and goes left.

He likes left.


The first guard he beats up is close enough to his size that he can steal his uniform, and doesn't that just make him feel like a winner. The other guards don't seem to notice, and Jensen wonders if Lehne read the Evil Overlord list on opposite day or something. No one should suck this much.

And somehow, he's still fucking terrified.

It's been a long time since his life has been threatened. A long time since he's been around when the people he loves are attacked, when it wasn't just a story Jared told him on the phone, made exciting and funny in retrospect.

He finds the exit before he finds the room Jared was in--gets sent up the elevator by another guard and thinks maybe that's fate or something. Maybe he's supposed to leave.

He slumps against the elevator wall and bangs his head against the cool metal. He doesn't have any backup to call--there's no one here. Dr. Padalecki and Jeff are in Tibet, and Danny's somewhere between here and Chicago.

There's no one to save Jared but him.

At the top of the elevator, the guard says, "You my relief?"

"Yeah," Jensen agrees instantly.

"I'm supposed to go get the prisoners," the guy sighs. "Jesus. The Padalecki kid is heavy. I don't want to carry his giant ass again."

Jensen shrugs. "Hey, man, if you don't mind staying here I'll go help with that."

"Seriously?" he asks. "Dude, I'd owe you fucking forever. Think I pulled something."

"Yeah. No problem."

So fate's saying, clearly, go find Jared.

Jensen can roll with that.

"Where are we meeting up again?" he asks.

"Right outside the cell," says the guy. "Take the left and then the first right off the elevator."

"Oh yeah. Thanks."

"No, seriously, thank you. Kid's a giant."

Jensen grins under his face-hiding helmet. "I'll manage."

The grin lasts until he gets to the bottom of the elevator and hears sounds of a struggle. Jared, the idiot, must be having a fight, and he's bringing every guard in the place--Jensen takes out two as they run past.

He wonders, suddenly, if the only reason Jared didn't try this at the store was that he thought they'd hurt Jensen.

"God, what part of no heroics doesn't he get?" Jensen mutters, even though it's clearly the 'no' part.

"The Padalecki kid's free!" shouts a guard who's rushing by. "And the Ackles kid is--" Jensen roundhouse kicks him and starts running himself.

When he gets there, Jared is holding his own, and he even lands a hit on Jensen before he gets his helmet off.

"Ow, Jesus!"

Jared manages to blink and punch a dude simultaneously. Then he grins. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"

"Were you going to take on the whole fucking base?"

"Hey, I told them they could surrender."

A siren starts blaring, because Jensen's day didn't suck bad enough.

"God, you're supposed to sit tight and wait for help."

"I couldn't exactly tie myself back up," says Jared, with a kind of reasonableness Jensen can't help hating.

"Still. What if--" and Jensen can't add 'they had guns,' because a bullet whips past his face.

"Get down!" Jared shouts, and then barrels into him, tackling him to the ground.

"How does this help? Now we're on the floor and they have guns," Jensen mutters.

Jared rolls off him. "What was your plan?"

"Come in with the group, beat up the other guards, steal one of their uniforms, get out."

"Creative." He gets up, rushes the guy with the gun, who clearly wasn't expecting it. Jared pushes the gun up before he can pull the trigger, and the shots hit the wall, burrowing into the stone.

Jared's a lucky son of a bitch, and Jensen is probably going to kill him.

Jared grabs the gun. "You coming?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"Should've done it before you got in the vent, saved yourself some time."

Jensen runs after him. "You got an escape plan?"

"I dunno. You know the way out?"

"That I know," he confirms. "There are two guards at the top of the elevator."

"Are there stairs?"

"You want to try to find them?"

Jared sighs. "We're sitting ducks waiting for an elevator with the alarms going."

"But we know where it is."

"How many more guys can he have?" asks Jared, sounding like he's trying to convince himself. "Henchmen don't grow on trees."

Jensen hits the button. "Maybe he's got a cloning thing going."

"Oh, dude, that'd be awesome," says Jared.

"Focus, Padalecki."

"It would," Jared wheedles, and Jensen wants to make jokes, but there was a gun pointing at Jared's chest, and it's the first time that's happened since Jensen fell in love with him.

It sucks even more now.

Before he can start reaming him out, though, there's the click of a safety, and Jensen spins.

"You're right," says Lehne. "I am running out of henchmen."

"What do you want, Lehne?" asks Jared, raising his gun right back. Jensen gets behind him, mostly out of instinct. He's the defenseless one here.

"Your father didn't tell you?" asks Lehne with a smirk. "I thought I made myself very clear."

The bottom drops out of Jensen's stomach. He hadn't--there wasn't a lot of time to think before now, not just sit down and ponder what was happening, and he hadn't thought--it hadn't even occurred to him to put together the phone call with the kidnapping, but it fucking figures. Jared was so tense because it was something real, and he hadn't told Jensen. He didn't tell Jensen, and he nearly got himself killed.

Jared can't see his expression, but Lehne can, and triumph flickers over his face. "You didn't know?" he asks, with a tone like he's not surprised.

Jared does turn then, slightly, clearly worried, like Jensen's opinion is, in this moment, more important than the psycho with a pistol.

Jensen knows it's not, though, so he's ready as he sees Lehne's finger twitch, and pushes Jared onto the floor this time.

Sometimes he feels like half of his life is shoving Jared Padalecki out of danger, literally or metaphorically.

Jared somehow manages to fire while he's being shoved, and the bullets whiz past each other, which seems a little funny to Jensen right now. He's possibly hysterical.

College isn't supposed to be a break from the stress of regular life.

Jensen registers a flash of pain across his arm a second before he sees Lehne stagger, and then they hit the floor. Jared fires again from there, better aim, hits him in the left thigh--Jared's never liked killing people. He falls, at least, and Jensen figures they'll call the police soon enough. He gets his hand up on his arm, pressure where he can feel the blood already coming. It fucking figures--he gets the head wound and the arm wound, and Jared takes all the stupid risks and comes out totally fine.

"God, are you okay?" Jared asks, staring at him with such wide-eyed concern that Jensen almost feels bad being so pissed at him.

"Let's just get the fuck out of here," says Jensen. Jared hauls him up and wraps an arm around his waist. "You know I got shot in the arm, right? I can walk fine."

Jared looks wounded, and Jensen realizes he's snapping more than he maybe should. Then he remembers Jared neglected to mention that he knew someone was after him, and he remembers why he's angry.

The elevator dings open, and Jensen gets in, letting Jared follow him.


"What did he say," says Jensen.


"The call. Whatever--how did you know?"

Jared looks down. "He called dad," he admits. "Said--said he knew dad was gone. Said he wanted all the specs on our new A.I., or he'd prove he really was worthy of being dad's nemesis."

Jensen sets his jaw. "My A.I.?"


"You risked your fucking life for my A.I."

Jared looks straight at him now, meets his eyes and doesn't back down. "Yes."


The elevator opens again, and Jensen prepares for there to be guards, police, anyone. Something he can beat the shit out of. But there's nothing. Jensen clutches his bleeding arm hard, pain spikes out.

Jared unpries his fingers, rips off a strip of t-shirt and ties it tightly there. Jensen tries to remember when this was normal, when Jared ripping his clothes apart to keep Jensen safe was just one more thing they did every day. Get up, brush your teeth, fight off assassins, get lunch.

He wonders how Jeff and Dr. Padalecki keep doing it, when he's already feeling too old.

"I guess they went down already," Jared offers when he's done. "Think we can find a phone? Or a truck? I don't even care."

Jensen doesn't respond, just stalks off, hands balled into fists with nothing else to clutch.

They find both, and Jensen grips the steering wheel, white-knuckled, while Jared talks on the phone.

Once he's hung up, no one says anything at all.


An hour into the trip, Jared calls his dad to check in. Jensen listens silently to his apologies and explanations, the frantic reassurances that everyone's okay, the police are on their way. Normally he'd be poking fun, egging Jared on, claiming he's dead, but normal feels like a long-dead place. At least the normal when he thought they were invincible, the normal when he thought it was cool he was living life like an action movie.

Apparently four years of being under the radar really gets you out of practice for regular attempts on your life.

Jared stares at his hands. He only tries to talk once, when they're nearly back, gets as far as "Jensen, I didn't--" before Jensen holds up his hand.

He's still working on--anything.

He stops when they get into the house and just--stands still. Takes a breath. Takes a minute. He doesn't know what to say, exactly. He wants to tell Jared he's a dumbass. He wants to punch something. He wants to hold on and never let go.

Finally, inexplicably, Jared starts laughing. "Man," he manages. "I can't believe my dad has a fucking nemesis."

But Jensen isn't laughing. He can't laugh, really.

"Jesus Christ, Jared," he says, voice low.

Jared sobers instantly, because it's not like he didn't see this coming. "Jensen?"

"God. Next time. If you think someone might try to kidnap and kill you? Fucking tell me."

"Jensen--" Jared tries. "I didn't. I mean. I didn't think it was--"

"I don't care, man. Seriously, I was--" Jensen rubs his eye, taking deep breaths. "God, Jared, I don't know what I'd do."

When Jensen opens his eyes again, Jared is beaming, a giant, happy smile. Jensen wants to yell at him more, but he's stunned into confused silence. No part of that should have made Jared happy.

Then Jared takes one step forward and kisses him.

It's about a second, and then Jared pulls back, still beaming, but a little less, and he looks so fucking hopeful it breaks Jensen's heart.

So Jensen kisses him again, can feel Jared smile against his mouth, smiling too hard to actually take it very far, just lips on lips over and over as Jared grins. Jensen doesn't think he's smiling yet--he's still pissed, but Jared is kissing him over and over and his hands unclench from his sides, come up to hold Jared's face.

"I'm not gonna kiss you every time you get kidnapped," he grumbles, "so don't be so fucking happy."

Jared rests his hands just above Jensen's ass and tugs him closer. Jensen can't quite breathe, seeing Jared looking like that.

"You're never getting rid of me," says Jared. "We're getting an apartment while I'm in college and you're in grad school, and then we're going wherever we want, but together."

Jensen has to laugh, and a little tension goes out with it. "Wow."

Jared just pulls him even closer, somehow. "Thought a lot about this," he says. "Pretty much continuously. Since, like, age twelve."

Jensen chokes. "Jesus. What about Danny?"

"Danny's hot and I love her," says Jared. "But man. She's not you. And I really did--I figured she was the girl of my dreams, you know? She's a badass and she's amazing. And she was going off to high school and I was all set to be heartbroken, you know? But she left and I was just really glad I still had you." He laughs. "Figured it was cuz you were my best friend. But then we went and helped out Ellen and her girlfriend, remember? And dad explained that, y'know, you can like boys and it all--I figured it out."

"Holy crap," says Jensen. He feels kind of bad for being such a colossal tool this summer, angsting about his sudden attraction to Jared, when the kid's been in love with him for the last six years.

Jared laughs a little and buries his face in Jensen's neck, smiling against his skin. "Wasn't sure it'd ever happen," he murmurs, and his breath ghosts against Jensen's neck, and Jensen can't help shivering.

Both of them realize then how close they actually are, that they're in love with each other, that they're alone. At least, that's what Jensen realizes, and from the way Jared's body tenses and he pulls back a little, he's pretty sure Jared realizes it too.

Jared looks at him for a long second, eyes dark and unwavering. Then he leans down and kisses Jensen, a real kiss that feels like a beginning, and Jensen invites Jared in, pulls him closer, and then suddenly they're making out, really making out, fast and dirty, and Jensen wonders how many dates Jared's been on to get this good.

He doesn't really want to know.

Jared whimpers somewhere in the back of his throat, almost a whine, desperate and needy. He pulls Jensen through the hallway, toeing off his shoes as they go, and Jensen doesn't have enough brain power to figure out where they're going, even though it's his house.

He gets his own shoes off just before Jared pulls Jensen on top of him on the couch and gets their legs entwined, shamelessly riding Jensen's leg and gasping into his mouth.

"Jared--" Jensen manages, a gasp as Jared's hand roves down his chest towards his fly. Jensen is hard like he hasn't allowed himself to be in weeks, trying to get Jared's shirt off with his good arm and not disturb the bullet wound on his other. He'd been planning to patch that up, get some real antibiotics on there, a real bandage, but rubbing up against Jared until they both come in their pants sounds so much better.

Jared puts him out of his misery a minute later, pulls off his own shirt and then gets rid of Jensen's, leans back in to kiss him again a second later, unzipping Jensen's pants and getting his hands on Jensen's dick.

"Never done this with a guy before," he says, into Jensen's ear. "So tell me if I'm doing anything wrong."

Jensen's not sure he could form words to criticize Jared's technique at this point--there's a huge hand on his dick, thumb flicking over the head, and Jensen just moans and thrusts into it, fucking Jared's fist hard and dirty.

Jared's grin is smug against his ear. "Guess I'm not, huh."

Jensen just moans and Jared speeds up, sucking a hickey into Jensen's neck.

Jensen's orgasm pretty much explodes out of him, barely any warning as it changes from enough to too much, and he comes on Jared's pants, which is maybe slightly better than coming in his own. He collapses on top of Jared as Jared strokes him through, murmuring things Jensen can't hear.


Jensen wakes up in Jared's bed and is, promptly, mortified.

They're both in their boxers and Jared is contentedly sleeping next to him, arm a pleasant weight on his chest, tight and possessive without being painful.

Still, Jensen has never in his life had sex that involved him falling asleep right after, without managing to get his partner off, so he's really, really embarrassed. He can't feel Jared's dick against his leg or anything, so he assumes Jared managed for himself, but still. He's supposed to be the older, wiser, better lover here. Not the guy who passes out right after.

The clock on Jared's table says it's eleven at night, and Jensen slips out from under Jared's arm to pad to the bathroom.

He only has one hickey, which is nice. The bandage on his forehead came off while he was asleep, which isn't at all surprising. The gash is caked with dried blood, and it looks a lot nastier than it is, like head wounds always do.

He gets the water on hot and finds a wash cloth, wiping the blood off carefully. There's still antiseptic under the sink, the same place it always was.

If Jensen keeps his hands busy, he doesn't have to think about this. Doesn't have to wonder what Dr. Padalecki's views on semi-incest involving his underage son is.

He gets his arm next--it's pretty shallow, just grazed him, and he won't even need stitches.

When it's done he goes back to Jared's room and stares at the bed.

Jared's really hot, which Jensen knew. He looks even better sprawled on the bed, rumpled and smiling a little in his sleep. And it's pretty awesome that Jensen is the one who made him look that happy.

In Jared's world, this really is just simple.

Jensen hears his phone ring somewhere in the house and runs downstairs to find his pants.

"What the hell happened?" asks Danneel as soon as he picks up.

Jensen tries to figure out which of the many valid answers he could give she wants. Is she asking about the kidnapping, the injuries, the handjob on the couch?

"I've been calling for hours," she says. "Where were you?"

Jensen rubs his eyes. "Asleep."

"It's eleven."

"I was stressed."

"That's the other thing! How come you didn't call me immediately! Jesus, Jensen!"

"Uh," says Jensen. He rubs the back of his neck and feels beyond crappy. "I was pretty pissed. And then--" he scrunches his eyes closed, even though Danneel can't see. "Me and Jared kind of hooked up."

There's a very long silence.

"Hooked up like hooked up, or hooked up like declared your undying gay love for each other?"

"Uh. More the second one, I guess."

"You're so cliche. The first time his life gets threatened since you realize you're in love with him and you're sucking his dick."

"I am not!"

"Really? Why not?"

"He jerked me off and then I fell asleep," Jensen mumbles.

Danneel laughs her ass off for a steady five minutes. Jensen actually times it. She tries to talk a few times, but doesn't get more than a syllable out before she's laughing again.

"You've got another minute before I hang up."

She makes it in with twenty seconds to go. "Sorry," she says, not sounding like she means it at all. "But that's the cutest get together story, seriously. Did he carry you to bed?"

"I hate you. How do you know this shit?"

"I've known you two forever," she points out. "You're really predictable."

"You know he was in love with me for the last six years?" Jensen asks.

"Seriously, that long?"


She laughs. "Good thing I never asked him out."

"You wanted to?"

"He's cute," she says thoughtfully. "But not really. He's all yours."

Jensen smiles at that.

"So, does Dr. Padalecki know?"

"No. Think he's going to kill me?"

The pause is too long for comfort. "Maybe," she admits.

Jensen slumps against the wall. "You think?"

"I don't know. He's seventeen," she points out.

"I keep forgetting," says Jensen, because Jared's just--Jared.

Speak of the devil--Jared wanders down the stairs, still just in his boxers, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"I'll call you back," says Jensen, not taking his eyes off Jared. Jared flashes him a grin, smooth and happy, and Jensen barely hears Danneel laughing at him as he hangs up. "Hey."

"Hey," says Jared. He crosses over to Jensen in three huge steps and kisses him. Jensen kisses back. "Oh, good. Thought you might have gotten stupid."

"I'm the smart one, shut up."

Jared grins. "No, see, now's when you say, 'No, Jared, I love you, I will always love you.' Seriously, come on."

"Is that how I sound in your head?"

"You bat your eyelashes a lot too," says Jared cheerfully. "Sometimes, if I'm really manly, you fall into a swoon."

"So I'm a girl, pretty much."

"My girl."

"You're not a charmer."

"Yeah I am. You're so charmed."

"Is your dad gonna kill me?"

Jared blinks. "Why would my dad kill you?"

"Let's see, you're underage, I'm a guy, and we're brothers."

It looks like this is the first time any of these concerns have occurred to Jared. "You're adopted," he says.

"Yeah, but still."

Jared shrugs. "I don't know, I guess. I never figured he'd care much. He's not homophobic or anything."

Jensen groans. "He's gonna kill me."

"I'd worry more about Jeff."

Jensen leans his head on Jensen's shoulder. "I'm gonna get killed," he amends.

Jared pats him on the top of the head. "I'll protect you, honey."

"That reminds me," says Jensen, straightening up. "Seriously, Jared? If you ever have to pick between us not getting kidnapped and my crappy computer program? Choose life."

Jared glares. "Dude! Crappy? You were, like, in love with that thing! You wouldn't leave it alone!"

"I was in love with you, dumbass!"

"Huh?" asks Jared.

"I figured out I was in love with you," Jensen mutters. "And you weren't in love with me, so--I needed some time."

Jared lets out a surprised laugh. "God, you're stupid. Could've just told me."

Jensen snorts. "Yeah, right."

"Not in love with you." Jared shakes his head. "You suck."

And the thing is, Jensen really feels like he does.


Jensen declares firmly that he will not, under any circumstances, be having sex with Jared until Jared tells his dad about them.

"I'll call him now," Jared offers.

Jensen glances at his watch. "It's two a.m. in Tibet. That's not going to make him like me."

"He loves you," Jared points out.

"You don't want to tell him on the phone," Jensen wheedles. "You want to--"

"Jensen," says Jared, stalking toward him. "I'm seventeen. I haven't gotten laid in, like, a year. And the guy I've been in love with for, oh, ever? Finally got with the program. So trust me, I know exactly what I want."

Jensen knows he should feel relieved when the phone rings before Jared can do whatever he was going to do, but he can't quite make himself feel happy about it.

"If this is my dad, I'm telling him," Jared warns.


"Hello?" There's a pause. "President Ferris? Oh, um. Hi! Nice to hear from you," says Jared, floundering a little. Jensen snickers. The president doesn't call often, and Jared's never gotten good at talking to her. "Yes, we're good. Yeah, that was us that left you Lehne. It was--yeah, at Stop and Shop. Wow, you're, uh. Informed!"

Jensen heads to the kitchen to find something to eat.

"Yes," says Jared, giving him the finger. "It was great to see Alona last month, but I don't think we're going to get together again." Jensen raises his eyebrows. "Yeah, I'm seeing someone. No--President Ferris!" Jared's beet red. "Dad's in Tibet. I can have him call you when he gets back? Lehne was after--Jensen's been working on an A.I., I guess he heard about it." Jared grins suddenly and Jensen knows this is going poorly. "Of course, here you go."

Jensen gets the phone and stammers, "H-Hello, Madam President."

"Hey, Jensen, how're you doing?"

"Um. Better? A little beat up, I guess."

"Good to hear it. Listen, if there's a threat that Lehne is trying to--"

"Ma'am, I don't know what Lehne thought he was going to do with this program, but it's--it's nothing. It's supposed to feel guilty. So far all it does is play chess and feel really bad when it loses pawns."

There's a pause. "Why?"

Jensen hears Jared snickering a little. "I was bored," Jensen mutters. "Needed something to do."

"You know why Lehne wanted it?"

"He's crazy?" Jensen suggests. "I guess he thought it was Dr. Padalecki's."

"We've taken him into custody, we'll be questioning him. I wanted to get your take on what happened."

"He's crazy," Jensen says again. "That's about it."

"Believe me, I've noticed," she says dryly. "Have Dr. Padalecki give me a call when he gets home, you hear?"

"Will do," Jensen agrees. "Bye, President Ferris."

"You're blushing," Jared comments.

"That's the president," says Jensen. "Jesus."

"Uh huh," Jared agrees.

"You really went out with her daughter?"

"Once," says Jared. "Barely counts. She has a boyfriend."

"And so do you," Jensen adds.

"Right," says Jared, lowering his lips to Jensen's, "I do."

Jensen hasn't forgotten that he and Jared are absolutely not having sex until Dr. Padalecki knows they're dating, but there's nothing illegal about making out, he's fairly certain, and Jared is really good at it, and Jensen is really only human.

Jared grins and slips his hand under Jensen's shirt, and Jensen feels shirtlessness isn't a problem either, when you really think about it, and concentrates on fucking Jared's mouth as thoroughly as possible.

Then, he hears the door.

Jensen starts scrambling away before he's even fully comprehended what's going on--he's got fucking awesome instincts.

But Jared doesn't let go, just makes a noise of protest and holds on tight.

"Jared, that's--"

"Boys?" calls Dr. Padalecki.

"That's your dad!" says Jensen. "Seriously, man--"

"You were the one who wanted to tell him," Jared comments, grinning.

"Yeah, remember showing vs. telling?" tells Jensen. "I know you weren't in kindergarten but I figured you learned somehow."

Jared kisses his neck before Jensen can escape.

"Am I interruptin' something?" asks Jeff from the door. Dr. Padalecki isn't there yet and Jensen wonders if he can escape. On the bright side, Jeff sounds amused and not somehow homicidal.

Score one for Jensen.

"Little bit," says Jared.

"Looks like he's not that into it."

Jensen squirms, and Jared just squeezes him close. It's possibly the least sexy hug he has ever received. Jared is kind of crushing his arms.

"I hate you," Jensen comments.

"Sure you do." Jared glances at Jeff. "We're dating now."

"I figured," says Jeff. "Anything else I should know?"

"The president called. She wants dad to call her."

"Probably still looking for a date," says Jeff, heading into the kitchen.

"You know I can't feel my arms, right?" says Jensen.

"I can feel them, they're right there."

"I'm so reassured."

"Hey dad!" says Jared with the kind of brightness that makes Jensen love him a little less.

"Hi Jared," says Dr. Padalecki, barely looking at them as he comes in. "Jensen."

"Uh," says Jensen, flailing his arms a little.

"Dad," says Jared, "I'm dating Jensen now. And I'm gonna take him to the movies and then maybe dinner."

Dr. Padalecki blinks. "It's the middle of the afternoon."

Jared shrugs. "Matinees are cheaper."

"And we're really broke." Jensen rolls his eyes and gives him a hard shove. "I wanted to tell you--better?" he tries, rubbing the back of his neck and not looking at Dr. Padalecki.

"Jensen," says Dr. Padalecki, "I'm not stupid. Jared's always been--very fond of you."

Jared groans. "We're stopping this conversation right now," says Jared. "And going to the movies. And dinner. Don't wait up."

"And call the president," Jensen adds, as Jared drags him away.

Dr. Padalecki just laughs.

Jensen's life is so fucking unfair.


"That was so anticlimactic," Jensen groans in the car.

"Nah," says Jared fondly, "you're just a tool."

Jensen bangs the back of his head on the seat. "Someone was supposed to kick my ass. Possibly god."

"Oh no, I'm not turning eighteen for another few weeks," says Jared. "Yeah, man, you're totally going to hell."

"Shut up," says Jensen, glaring. "It's just--I thought you were gonna freak out and tell me I was gross if you ever found out."

"That's cuz you're stupid," says Jared. "I keep telling you."

"It's been a day and this is already an abusive relationship."

"I love you," says Jared. Not like an argument, or even ironically. He's just saying it, totally serious, for no reason at all.

"Yeah, I love you too," says Jensen, almost reflexively. He feels like Jared is going to pounce or something, maybe.

"See?" says Jared, grinning. "Easy."


"And we're gonna go to a movie and make out in the back row. Not everything has to be gloom and doom, Jensen. Even if we are Padaleckis."

Jensen grins. "Guess not."

Of course, they're just settling into their seats when the ninjas arrive.

"These better be real fucking ninjas this time," Jensen grumbles.

Jared grins. "Knock on wood."
Tags: au, j2, rps

  • I'm the worst.

    oh jesus it's been a while hasn't it I got into a new fandom this last week, which is why I was thinking about updating! In the months and months…

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    I posted my last J2 fic to AO3 yesterday, I Kind of Liked It Your Way. Enjoy!

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    Every six months is a good rate to post updates, right? If you want to see my fic in a timely fashion you should just follow me on AO3 or Tumblr,…

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  • I'm the worst.

    oh jesus it's been a while hasn't it I got into a new fandom this last week, which is why I was thinking about updating! In the months and months…

  • (no subject)

    I posted my last J2 fic to AO3 yesterday, I Kind of Liked It Your Way. Enjoy!

  • (no subject)

    Every six months is a good rate to post updates, right? If you want to see my fic in a timely fashion you should just follow me on AO3 or Tumblr,…